Chapter 3 blog- how do you see things?

I believe that perception is the way we see ourselves and others around us. This perspective of ourselves and others dictates much of our behavior. In fact, the world around us is perception. The objects, people, situations, facts, ideas, and roles are all perceptions of what exists. It is incredible how one person, fact, or idea can be perceived in a multitude of ways. But each of these ways dictates further perception formation, belief formation, and actual behavior. We also have very specific perceptions of ourselves, called a self-concept. This self concept that is our picture of ourselves, can be very different from the way that and others perceive us. We must be very careful in the establishment of these perceptions in both ourselves and in others, as this could lead to inappropriate inferences and assumptions about the person we are presenting to others and the people we are assessing and perceiving. I feel it is important for us not to forget to assess our self-concept and the perception we have of others, so as to continue to improve our communication. It is obvious that this element of perception affects our ability to be good and effective communicators. We also want to make sure that we are seeing the real picture of ourselves as communicators, since we often have a negatively skewed view of how we look in front of a group of fellow students. Such a negative self-concept in terms of public communication can be damaging. I have noticed this damaging sense of self as a communicator in much of my own speeches, as I approach the front of the classroom, filled with dread. From others that I have spoken with, this feeling of dread is commonly felt across speech students.

Do you think you have improved your self-concept as a communicator and public speaker through the participation of this course?

Chapter 4 blog

The most misunderstandings that I have had is with my friend who is Korean. We recently had a misunderstanding about when I would be meeting up with him. A few days ago we were do meet up for lunch. I explicitly said I could not be there by three, but could make it by four. I told him this several times. However, when three o clock rolled around, I got a very upset call from him, wondering where I was. I returned his call, and explained again. He was quite exasperated by me this time, still not understanding what I meant. I finally said "I will be there at four. Is that OK?" He responded with a long pause and then said "OK."

My friend did not realize until we met at four, and I was speaking to him in person, that we had a misunderstanding. It took me showing him my calendar, and explaining that I was in a meeting at three. I pointed to the date and time, and showed him where my four o'clock space was. He finally understood, and apologized for being upset with me. I suggested we meet in person the next time we arrange something, so as to have a further reference for our plans.

I believe the base of this misunderstanding came from the language barrier that we have between us. This language barrier can also be further complicated by the cultural differences that we have. I should have said "I'll be there at four" right away, and met up with him in person to physically look at our calendars. This would have avoided much confusion by stating it this way. It can be really frustrating if you do not clear up mis-communications right away.

Have you ever had a miscommunication with someone simply because of a language or cultural barrier? If so, how have you dealt with this?

Perceptions

It is very easy for me to ignore the misconceptions that I have had, and write them off as universal. I feel as if there are a variety of ways that I assume people are much like myself, because that is what I know. This could be a definite problem if I am to continue on in the field of psychology, as I know that everyone has unique experiences and significant differences. One of the most common mistakes that I make, is in perceiving that those that are female, and of my same gender, hold common ideas. Where I can make a really huge mistake, is where I believe they hold similar views about the opposite gender. Since gender is something that is often presented as being very different from one another, as opposed to very similar to one another, this mistakes I make are in strongly identifying with a gender group as opposed to the human race. I often have assumed that all females who are in administrative positions have had to work twice as hard as men, battle with stereotypes, and have had to develop a tough outer shell to hack it. This is certainly not always true, but I am aware that women have had to undergo a great deal in history to gain their liberties. I also have assumed that because of this, it is easy for most women to resent men. This is certainly not true, and has sometimes gotten me into trouble when talking to my friends that are female who do not agree with that at all! It is sometimes difficult to take a hard look at where I have been going wrong for so long, to adjust these misconceptions and perceptions. I am aware, however, that my misconception of gender needs to be revamped in order to not a. embarrass myself, or b. make another person feel very uncomfortable.

In what ways have you made gender assumptions?

Emotional Appeals

The speakers that I have seen that I found to be most credible, used the emotional appeals of fear and sadness. These speakers later went on to explain how this fear and sadness was or was not turned around and if it was not, how the situation could be different. These speakers are often people who have been through hard life experiences and are looking to help those in their previous situation. This type of speaker is most credible to me, since they have personal experience with the subject at hand and are living proof of the existence of a problem that has happened and does happen. Speakers that I have seen with this appeal, often provide several other examples that give their topic credibility. For example, when a man from Uganda came to campus to speak about the issue of warfare in his country and its effect on it's children, he provided his personal story, as well as a video that detailed and documented the vivid and terrible life that many people of Uganda must lead. He stood in front of us, and we saw the emotion in his true story. His presence and moving story enlightened the audience and left us feeling as if we should do something to help the people just like him. He used some humor and upbeat comments, to show the audience the hope in the life of darkness that he lived. This addition of a light mood is essential in showing the audience that this person is just like you and I, and that this person is also able to laugh and overlook hardship to appreciate life despite the circumstances. When some speakers talk of an experience that is immensely depressing, the topic turns from one that offers insight, to one that overwhelms and leaves the audience feeling upset and helpless. Have you ever been to a talk that did not motivate or enlighten you, but instead left you feeling depressed and overwhelmed?

Groups and Leadership

I was a part of a group of friends in High School that wanted to perform a senior prank. The group participated in group think as we sneaked around the school grounds at night, avoiding any outdoor cameras for fear of getting caught on them the following day. This was a ridiculous idea that on person came up with and everyone else seemed to just go along with. Even though this act could result in all of us getting into huge trouble, both at school and at home, nobody spoke up. We all ended up trashing the front lawn of the school and while none of us were OK with it, nobody wanted to speak up because everyone else was doing it. We were all very quiet the entire time we put streamers and toilet paper all over the lawn. In fact, none of us said a word. And while I exchanged glances with a friend of mine, whose uncertain expression matched my own, neither of us said a word. After our act of High School rebellion, the guys laughed and talked about how great this all was. A few of us laughed along nervously. But all the while, these comments sounded more like us convincing ourselves that this was an OK thing to do. We all knew it was a bad idea and that we could all be in pretty big trouble, but it happened anyway. The power of groupthink is pretty huge. In order to minimize groupthink, we should have gone together with people we were good friends with, who would be comfortable talking about the possible problems with our plan. I could have made myself the "devil's advocate" to question the group's actions. We also could have gotten other people's opinions within our group, so that not just the person leading it was expressing opinions and ideas. I could have encouraged others to express their opinion about our idea at the time. We also could have asked the opinion of those outside the group of people who had decided to pull a prank.

Do you think groupthink happens more often in formal or informal situations? Which informal situations in college can you see groupthink playing a role?

Nonverbal Communication

The nonverbal gesture of raising your hand to your forehead, palm inward, can be taken three different ways. This nonverbal behavior could mean the person is upset, has a headache, or is lost in thought. This behavior can mean all of these three messages. I do not believe there is one specific message behind this behavior, but there is instead, a variety of possible messages because the meaning changes with the accompaniment of a facial expression, specific environmental setting, or other nonverbal cues.

I believe the statement that 'the one who possesses and controls information has power' means that those who are with knowledge are able to no only educate and enlighten people, but also assure that they are given this information in a way that is understood by them. Those with new and true information are the guru's, leaders, and disciples in our society that are highly respected. Also, whoever controls this information has the ability to decide who can or cannot access this information. Thus, the person who knows and controls the information holds the keys to the way a group of people is capable of expanding and growing, giving them ultimate say and power. An example of this is the president of any university or head of admissions department. This individual has obtained the knowledge to attain such a prestigious position and therefore has the "educated say" in who is permitted into the university to become further educated. A specific example of such admission/non-admission by an educated individual who held the keys to information was was Abner McCall. Abner McCall was the president of Baylor University in Tennessee who denied many individuals their right to an upper level education solely because he would not admit people of color. One such individual was Vivienne Malone-Mayes who later went on to become the 5th African American woman with a PhD in Mathematics and an esteemed faculty member of Baylor University after this man had retired. This man had education which gained him respect and prestige, entitling him to a position which determined the acceptance or rejection of individuals who could continue learning.

Have you ever felt overlooked because of a lesser degree of education? Did you feel frustrated or powerless?

Chapter 9/ 10

The scenario often occurs where I am speaking to a person about something I am really interested in and they do not seem to be listening to me or seem to care what it is that I am so passionate about. This usually occurs when I bring up heavy topics like the misrepresentation of beauty in society, the normalizing of androcnetricsm, or the importance of being actively anti-racist. Whenever someone seems to be ignoring me or tuning me out, I feel like my opinions are not valued or my ideas do not matter. A prominent listening barriers present were likely that the other person found my topic to be uninteresting or they have chosen to close off their mind to this topic of discussion due to its nature. Another barrier that was probably present was their failure to adjust to distraction, since they were desiring a way out of the topic of conversation. Faking attention is the other barrier to effective listening that was certain to be present in many of these frustrating situations. I can encourage myself to listen more attentively to others by assuring that even if I don't seem to be interested in the topic at hand, I can continue to keep an open mind while they are speaking. I can also be certain to limit the number of distractions that I can control while a person is speaking, and tune out other distractions instead of rudely tuning out the person speaking to me.

I have sat through a several disorganized lectures. These lectures were given to my high school English class by the teacher. This teacher never seemed to have her class planned out. It was very difficult to both pay attention and to benefit from this class. It was always hard to know what it was that I was supposed to know to for the tests and quizzes. It was also difficult to stay on beat with this instructor since she jumped from point to point to point in a rambling fashion. My classmates and I had a very difficult time learning anything from this class. I would tell a speaker who is disorganized to really plan out what they are going to say, before they have to say it with thorough points and sub-points. I would also tell aw disorganized speaker to restate and emphasize the most important points.

Presentations

Presentations that I have attended in the past have been most effective when they have involved analogies, factual illustrations, examples, and restatements. All of these have been highly effective in catching my attention and keeping it. Speeches that are especially effective include many elements that I can personally relate to. The types of verbal support that bore me, are often read from a manuscript, and involve very few analogies, examples, or factual illustrations. The ineffective speeches are often filled with hypothetical illustrations and little anecdotal support/personal connection. The speeches that leave me in a state of confusion often have a very narrow direction or no direction, include loose metaphors, and paint hypothetical situations that I cannot link to any concrete information. The most easily forgotten metaphors are those with little emotion or vocal inflection, and little personal connection to the speaker. I am able to tell if a source is "quality" based on its credibility. I expect a speaker to provide a citation as they give their speech, and I will consider it quality if the source is deemed credible by APA and MLA standards. Often, the quality of the source can be determined by the name alone. This reflection will help me to assure that I use the techniques that are most effective for me when giving my speech for others to hear.

Captive Audience

I cannot specifically recall a time that I have been in a large crowd of people who had to sit through a lecture or presentation not geared at me. I have, however, been a member of a captive audience, which I feel is very similar. When I visited my parents a couple of months ago, they had made some new friends. These friends met me and my room mate that I brought along with me. I feel like they must have seen us and thought "ooh, impressionable college students.." Unfortunately, the whole evening, they were preaching to us about 401k's and retirement funds. They also happened to be particularly pessimistic people who felt it was their job to inform us of how shoddily our government has been running everything. They even went so far as to tell us that by being independent and by not supporting the government, we are much better off. This entire situation was ridiculously uncomfortable because we did not share the beliefs of the people trying to enforce their own onto us. It was a very patronizing experience that neither my roommate nor I care to repeat.

In order to prevent such discomfort and upset in the audience of the people I am speaking to, I plan on considering my audience while I am writing my speech. It is very difficult to prepare a speech when you don't know who you are speaking to anyway, so this is actually a highly beneficial part of the process. I also plan on directing my speech at a broader spectrum of people, interests, and points of view, so as not to make anyone uncomfortable or upset upon hearing my speech.

Communication is key

The reason universities require students to take a communication course is to educate students on the variety of ways in which we communicate. This may seem very common sense, however, it is amazing to draw awareness to the plethora of ways in which communication occurs. Whether it be verbal or nonverbal, it seems that we are constantly sending and receiving messages from the environment and the individuals around us. A formal education in communication can improve all the areas in which we communicate.

In my daily life, I use communication in talking to my friends, peers, and professors. I use both verbal and nonverbal communication to convey my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and feelings. I often use my telephone to send and receive both text (written) and oral messages. I feel like I am communicating everywhere I turn. When I am walking to class, I make eye contact with strangers that pass me by. I also wave, or offer a couple words of greeting when I pass a friend or acquaintance. While driving, I wave to allow people to cross the street, and I make eye contact with other drivers on the road so that we can communicate that I have seen them (both for safety and courtesy reasons). In class, I make eye contact with the professor to let he or she know that I am paying attention. I also speak with the professor, making certain to hear what they have to say and I ask questions when I do not understand the message being sent. I communicate with my friends throughout the day when we are both physically present to speak to each other. Otherwise, we communicate through "facebook" and with the use of our cell phones to text or call one another. I prefer to communicate in person because I can greet my friends with a hug to communicate my care for them, and they are certain to always understand what I say when I say it. I am also likely to best understand what they are trying to communicate when we speak in person.

The most common type of communication that I use, is interpersonal. I have found that I am most comfortable in interpersonal communication settings. These settings offer a more personal and direct type of communication. I feel that this type of communication is the most rewarding, for it is intimate, one is able to find out a great deal of information from the other person in communication, and there is a lesser chance of misunderstandings taking place. Interpersonal communication also offers both people a chance to let their guard down and present the most genuine form of self.

As a result of taking this class, I hope to improve my ability to speak in a concisely, and improve my group communication abilities. I have always struggled to be concise in my stories, explanations, and even responses to simple questions and I hope to improve upon this. I also seem to freeze up and focus on monotonous details when speaking to a group of people even when it is a small group. This behavior that has repeated itself several times, has made it difficult to be comfortable in group settings and feel confident in my ability to address more than two people at a time.